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What is involved in the adoption process? Many people naively believe that adoption simply consists of walking into an agency and walking away with a baby. Of course, it's much more complex than this. It involves considerable paperwork; asking questions; solving problems; researching; spending money; and going through emotional ups and downs. It takes time and work but remember that those who want to adopt will always succeed. Adoption procedures have been designed for your benefit; so don't be lured into taking "shortcuts" - these can hurt you in the long run. After all, adoption is not just a means of finding babies for infertile couples, but also a way of finding the right family for a particular child.
Each adoption agency has different requirements; so you may find that even though you are turned down at one agency, another will readily accept your application.
Most agencies suggest that:
The professional who will be guiding you through this process is a medical social worker, who is fully qualified and trained. Find an agency where you are comfortable with the social worker assigned to you.
You should learn about the requirements for adoption; and the average waiting time for placement. You'll need to decide upon many factors including the child's age and sex and there may be certain limitations on your choice. Costs vary widely, and you should enquire how much these will be.
Once an agency accepts your application, detailed interviews, both separately and jointly, are conducted. Agencies may ask you to supply references from relatives, employers and friends. Furthermore, an adoption worker will come to your home and evaluate your suitability as parents - the home study. At some point after the home study period, a child is identified who is available for adoption. You'll then have to decide whether or not to accept the child - it's finally your choice. If you choose to adopt, there is a supervisory period once the child arrives in your home, and this may range from a few weeks to several years. After a specified period, you legally adopt your child by an adoption decree.
Infertile couples are often subjected to tremendous pressure to adopt. Friends may get tired of your problem and question as to why you don't adopt if you want a baby so badly. Others who have already adopted may enthusiastically recommend the option to you. But you should never try to force yourself to be comfortable with adoption if the idea is disturbing - this is not a time for selflessness. There are no set guidelines to determine who should or should not adopt. Remember, adoption neither means trying to find a baby now to take care of you in your old age; nor is it a method to try to keep your marriage intact. Signs suggesting indecision could include denial of your disappointment about infertility; persistent fantasies about what life might have been with biological children; and the desire to keep the adoption a secret. Prospective parents may also have fears that an adoptive child may not measure up to family standards. If you have any doubts, it may be a good idea to temporarily postpone your adoption plans and discuss your anxieties with close or a counsellor before proceeding further.
© Dr. Aniruddha Malpani and Dr. Anjali Malpani www.drmalpani.com
Credits: How to Have a Baby: Overcoming Infertility