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Undergoing treatment can "eat up" into your entire day - waiting to talk to the doctor, waiting to take your injections, waiting to do scans, waiting for blood test reports - it's endless and all you do is wait! The treatment seems to take all day - and you don't seem to have time to be able to do anything else. You need to take control of your time. While some waiting is unavoidable, a lot can be minimized. Can your husband learn to give you the injections so that you don't have to come into the clinic for them? Can you get the blood tests reports on the phone? Also, learn to make good use of the waiting time - you can read more about your problem; and also talk to other patients in the clinic - this often becomes the place for an informal "support group" meeting!
The waiting to get pregnant also makes you put the rest of your life on "hold" you find you cannot make plans for the future because you do not know what lies ahead. Should you plan to go on a holiday next month - what if you get pregnant? Should your husband accept the new job, even if it means a transfer to another city which means you will have to find a new doctor? This can be frustrating - not only are you not getting pregnant, but also you cannot get on with the rest of your life! You need to try to separate infertility from other important aspects of your life and remember that you are a worthy person irrespective of your fertility. Women often have a harder time, because they have been taught that their life revolves around their family - which has yet to be started! Often getting a job is helpful, because it keeps you occupied and bolsters your self-esteem by confirming what you know - that you can accomplish useful things with your life irrespective of your infertility.
Talking to relatives and friends can be difficult when they ask awkward and thoughtless questions about infertility. Some typically painful questions include:
Questions and comments from others can be turned into opportunities for you to explain your situation more fully to close friends; or you can discourage further discussion. Be firm and pleasant - and don't let yourself be put on the defensive. After all, just because a question is asked does not mean it deserves an answer; so with a smile, you can let them know that it's none of their business without being rude yourself.
Think about how you will respond to these questions, and plan ways in which you can successfully manage the conversation. There are emotional barriers between the fertile world at large and infertile couples - and you need to work to overcome this!
© Dr. Aniruddha Malpani and Dr. Anjali Malpani www.drmalpani.com
Credits: How to Have a Baby: Overcoming Infertility
