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Social gatherings such as weddings where the conversation focuses on pregnancy and children can be difficult to cope with. You'll also inevitably have friends who become pregnant during your infertility treatment. The news that infertile friends have conceived with treatment can be bitter-sweet - you are happy for them, and know that this also means there is hope for you; but you feel it's unfair that you are not the one pregnant, and sometimes despair whether you will ever be able to have a baby. Furthermore, holidays and birthdays may bring added stress by reminding you that time is passing by without children.
Time becomes the enemy whether it is the incessant ticking of the biological clock, or the endlessness of waiting for the next menstrual period. The few days before your next period is due can be hell for both of you. The suspense can be killing and you wait every day with bated breath to see if the period has started. Each twinge of pain or drop of discharge is monitored carefully - and if the period is delayed, hopes start rising. Then, when the menstrual flow starts, all the castles in the air come crashing down, and you are inconsolable. You sometimes wonder - is it worth beginning all over again?
Coping with treatment is difficult too - especially when you know that for most treatments, it is impossible to predict what the outcome is going to be. Also, with nature's imperfection and today's technology, the chance of your not getting pregnant in any cycle will always be more than the chance of your conceiving. Often the key to success may be to repeat the treatment several times but this can be pure torture! You need to be realistic about your chances of conceiving - this level - headedness can help to buffer the disappointments and tribulations of failure. Some women feel that they must maintain a "positive" attitude, no matter what and put up a brave front to the world - but pretending to be hopeful when you are broken inside increases your burden.
© Dr. Aniruddha Malpani and Dr. Anjali Malpani www.drmalpani.com
Credits: How to Have a Baby: Overcoming Infertility
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