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In order to decrease your feelings of helplessness and to regain control of your emotions, there are several things you can do. First of all, take the time to learn about your infertility. By doing this, you will feel more in control at your doctor's office and you'll be better able to understand the tests and procedures that you're undergoing. Read about infertility treatment, and discuss your ideas and opinions with your physician. It's also important to talk with all of your health care providers. For example, your nurses may be able to help you with troublesome emotions as well as medical questions, or a technician could explain test procedures and results.
You need to make an "action plan" outlining possible courses of action as regards your medical treatment. For each treatment cycle, hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If you get pregnant, that's fine; but you should know what to do next if you do not so that you are not shattered when it doesn't work. Many couples refuse to think about the possibility of failure and plan treatment on an ad-hoc single cycle basis. This is unrealistic and you are only fooling yourself. Being realistic allows you to cope with the ups and downs of treatment - and you need to have a time perspective which includes four to six treatment cycles, so as to give yourself a reasonable chance of success.
During treatment, you need to set your own limits. Sometimes, treatment becomes a merry-go-round, which never stops and you find that you just can't get off. Some patients get "hooked" onto treatment and never give up, at great pain and expense to themselves. Decide when you will stop treatment and which treatments you will try. This is a decision only you can make and it should satisfy you that you have done all that you want to - so that you do not have any residual feelings of regret later! If medical therapy becomes too stressful, consider taking a break. When necessary, make it a point to remind friends and family that these are your decisions and that you know what's best for you.
Little things that you do for yourself can make a big difference in how you handle your infertility. Write down positive things you have done or good things that have happened, and read them often. Plan a special evening, and share your thoughts and feelings with your partner. You and your partner may want to join a support group so that you can meet people who are experiencing infertility. It is also important to become more informed about infertility, so that you can share this information with friends and family who do not seem to understand the stress and pressure surrounding this disorder.
Many patients find religious support at this time is very helpful - and a deep belief and abiding faith in god can help you immensely in tiding over this crisis in your life. Others use meditation to help themselves.
© Dr. Aniruddha Malpani and Dr. Anjali Malpani www.drmalpani.com
Credits: How to Have a Baby: Overcoming Infertility
