Recently in one of our IVF chats, we were talking with those members whose years of anguish and grueling procedures had resulted finally in a successful pregnancy. The question being presented to them time and again by those who are still hoping to conceive: "When did you stop worrying? Are you relaxing and enjoying the pregnancy yet?"
Some of you with whom I've chatted before know I'm usually full of opinions, and I typically don't hesitate to spout them out. This evening, though, I decided to rein myself in a bit and let someone else, a member who is very pregnant with twins, express her feelings on the question. I thought, "Perhaps I occasionally lose perspective from having this job, let's see if someone else's pregnancy experience is different from what mine was..."
The mommy-to-be of twins couldn't have said it better: "You can't get a break." I suppose that on this note I'm still in touch with how lots of our community feels -- unfortunately.
I was wondering if I'd hear, "Oh yes, after (throw in any given number here) weeks of pregnancy, my heart felt as light as air, filled with the joy of expecting my true desire! Infertility is behind me forever now..."
You know, I regularly receive emails from folks stating something to that extent. "Please take me off your mailing list as I am pregnant and no longer need your services," which is, of course, why I created this whole conception of the Center for Resolutions to Infertility. Well, that, and because I wanted to keep an online oasis of my own, as well. So, I refer those folks here, and to the RTI newsletter, and invite them to join us in building our new, unique community.
I'd guess that about a third write back after that invitation with comments like, "Infertility has no bearing on my life any longer. Thanks, but no thanks. We don't ever want to think about our infertile days again." I appreciate their honesty. I also wonder if I'll see them coming around later.
"Do we ever get a break?" came the question from the chatroom to me and the other lucky mom. I suppose, as with everything, the answer to that is all in your perspective.
© Tracy Morris