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Not everyone experiences the trials of infertility in the same way. A fact that is rarely, if ever, stated is that many who start out on the path toward conception later find that their feelings toward having children change as their efforts become thwarted by obstacles.
The September 11 tragedy will change our world forever. An event of such magnitude can be a tide-turner for some who are trying to conceive.
A breakdown of opinions by such variables as length of time trying to conceive, amount of energy and money already spent in their quest, and personal demographics would probably prove very telling. It may be hypothesized that those who are relatively new to the infertility journey would be the least likely to waiver in their determination. However, it may also be the case that those who have already invested the most would feel a greater loss at ceasing efforts.
The question, it seems, is one of motivation. The impetus toward having children is almost entirely undiscussed within society in general. Once one has ventured into a community in which conception is the primary focal point, the questions of why and for what reasons to have children are largely ignored, the supposed stances taken for granted.
Could it be that those at either end of the spectrum, from "Nothing will stand in my way of conceiving now," to "I absolutely will not get pregnant now," were perhaps less clear of their own motives before the attack? The decision to have children should be made with clear knowledge of the intrinsic perils of parenthood, and with great humility about the unknown. Those who land at either extreme of our poll may have initially been approaching parenthood as something they were compelled yet ambivalent toward doing.
It may be interesting to revisit these questions later. Many media and political commentators have ventured that the majority of Americans are in for a rude awakening when faced with the reality of war casualties. It may also be interesting to engage the thoughts of those who are already living in wartorn areas, about their own strivings toward children in the face of great adversity.
Whether the question is of personal motivation or of societal coping, we have much to learn from each other.
© Tracy Morris
