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Last, from one of our Forum regulars, Chuck, who has a way with words as he speaks his heart and mind...
After browsing some of the posts here, I'm going to feel silly bringing this up, but it has become a real problem for me. I have great difficulty producing a sperm sample "on demand" in a public place at a pre-appointed time. The process absolutely paralyzes me with fear.
I guess I just can't seem to overcome the embarrassment, or anxiety, of producing a sperm sample on cue in a public place, after passing through a waiting room full of people who know damn well what I'm there to do, while a bunch of techs stand by waiting for the results.
It doesn't seem that anyone really wants to talk about this, (or I'm the only one with this problem..), as I could find very little reference to this subject while searching the web.
I was at least partly afraid that it just wouldn't work before the first time, considering my emotional state. I know that it is at least "possible" now, having succeeded once, but it is still a painful prospect for me to go back and do it again. (and it may be necessary to go again, and again, and again, I know. That's why I need to get over this, or I'll wind up in the looney bin...)
I'm just wondering if anyone else had dealt with this, what you may have done to overcome it, or what I might do to make the process less painful. Thanks for reading my ranting....
The above is an excerpt from one of Chuck's posts in a thread that quickly became a frequently-visited discussion. Since then, many other threads have included others' thoughts on the issues of men undergoing the infertility diagnosis and treatment journey.
Several conversations down the road, Chuck and I (and many others) agree that such sensitive topics are easiest (though not necessarily best) left alone by men. The male psyche includes a lot of self-image based on both sexual prowess and ability to reproduce, both things brought markedly to the surface for men seeking infertility assistance. Talking about one's fears and concerns, even with complete anonymity, may quite simply be in and of itself too scary for many men.
Perhaps if they knew how much women crave hearing what men think, perhaps then more guys would chime in on conversations online. There may be the occasional gender-based misunderstanding, but for the most part, women visitors to Internet communities such as ours are intrigued at the least and reassured at most whenever a man reveals the inevitable -- that he is, as others are, deeply affected by the infertility experience.
© Tracy Morris
