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It's a common fact that men simply don't use support groups or services in the same way or frequency as women. When situations in their lives warrant assistance from others, many men choose to hunker down and deal with things alone. It's no different regarding the situations that come with infertility.
Even though the Internet has opened up an entire world of support for women who are experiencing infertility, men are still mostly hesitant to express themselves in online communities. So, we posted a special invitation to the men in our community (we know they are out there) to share with us what the infertility journey has been like for them.
Here are some of the responses we received:
From Brock, husband of one of our Forum Associates...
I'm always "riding" Sheree about the time she spends on the computer, but we would never get through this without the help she gets from her cyber friends. As some of you know, our biggest problem is ME. The "boys" don't swim.
Through two failed IUIs and one no-luck IVF, you all have been there for her [us]. I myself am a very emotional guy and want so much to be a dad. I'm an only child of two wonderful parents. Next to my great wife, my dad is my best friend and I want to experience that relationship from the "dad" side so bad, it hurts.
All you women and other men should know that us guys feel the pains also -- when one of my friends talks about playing ball with their kids, or bring the kids to the golf course, I get so envious. When you hear about someone expecting, men too think 'why can't that happen for us?' When the first IUI failed, I cried at my machine in a factory full of men, and they understood because they are Dads and know the joy that we so much want to feel.
Has anyone heard Tim Mcgraw's new song "Why do they say grown men don't cry"? Well, let me tell you, when he sings about his daughter saying "Daddy, I love you," this very large grown man cries every single time.
Thanks again for being there for Sheree, and I'll keep you all in my prayers.
"Big Daddy wanna be" Brock
From Tom, husband of one of our Forum members...
Well, to start out, I am 35 yrs old and me and Kel will be married nine wonderful years in September, with the exception of not being able to have children. We have been trying for eight years now, and I have been checked and all is ok with me, but wife was diagnosed with PCOS.
It has been a rough road and seems like it's just getting longer!!! I love my wife more than life itself and if I can help her in any way, I will do my best!! I think I am a supportive guy cuz I have so much love.
I am glad my wife found this site -- she thought she was all alone and she feels like a faliure at times and gets very down. She had been seeing her OB doctor for a few years and he just didn't have many answers for her, so he referred her to an infertility specialist and thank god for him. He is a saint -- he gave us some answers.
Wife didn't ovulate, and this doctor has gotten us to that point, but wife had some problems and we had to put fertility on hold. Well it's been six months since then and now wife is ready to go back and try again!!
I pray every night for us and for all the other special people who are trying to concieve!! You know, the one thing that hurts me the most is... wife babysits for four children and has been watching them since they were very small -- it breaks my heart because she would make a wonderful mother, but I will never give up, because I know one day it will happen!!
Good Luck to all of you out there trying to concieve....Never Give Up!!
© Tracy Morris
