How to Keep Your Marriage Alive in Spite of Infertility

Infertility can ravage a relationship. How can you beat the odds in spite of the hardships of trying to conceive?

Here's how:

  1. Realizethat the infertility experience is as traumatic as it feels. Research indicates that stress levels are similar to those in people experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.
  2. Keep lines of communication open with your partner.
  3. If you come to an emotional impasse with your partner, allow each other space but remain in contact.
  4. Early in your conception attempts, come to an agreement on a plan of action, whether it be aggressive treatment, no outside intervention at all, or somewhere in-between.
  5. Discuss and review your plan of action at regular intervals, making changes as required to accomodate each others' changing desires.
  6. Allow your partner their own limitations, and recognize yours. Openly discuss these with each other.
  7. Use other relationships as an emotional sounding board. Do not rely solely on your marital partner to meet your emotional needs.
  8. Consciously commit and recommit as necessary to stay together. This may require re-evaluation of your relationship regularly.
  9. Be open to seeking professional counseling when communication breaks down, when sexual dysfunction is an issue, or when either partner experiences symptoms of clinical depression.
  10. If one partner feels the need for counseling, both partners should participate.
  11. Openly recognize and discuss the good things that you do have together.
  12. Focus on being good friends.


Tips:

  1. If talking becomes too difficult at any point, try writing notes to each other.
  2. Flexibility is the key to understanding.
  3. If you'reseeking professional counseling, talk to your physician, clergy, friends and family for referrals, or see your Yellow Pages under "Counseling".