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Easy as caring for yourself may sound, it's pretty difficult to actually do, especially if you're the kind of person who has a lot of your self-image wrapped up in being the perfect hostess, gift-giver, baker, decorator, or any of those other roles that our culture has deemed admirable. In short, thinking about using the holidays to your own advantage is tougher for women.
Take honest inventory of your own past reactions and feelings toward those typical holiday activities that require you to give, give, give. Do those activities truly make you feel inspired and rejuvenated? If so, then don't change a thing! If not, consider different ways of spending that time.
Don't be afraid to get honest with others, too! While you may see the eyes open wide on some people who are accustomed to your busily stressing over holiday "duties," others will see the wisdom in your self-care efforts. As the saying goes, "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen!" Say "no" when it's to your benefit, and stick with your supporters.
Making the decision to cease active conception attempts or treatment may mean the difference between losing your sanity or being able to go on later as needed.
For most people, the day in and day out nature of dealing with infertility can lead to a sense that taking a cycle or two off is tantamount to giving up, or worse yet, missing the cycle. This is really more magical thinking than reality.
Unless you already have a treatment protocol lined up for holiday time, consider backing off from trying altogether, just for now. As many can personally attest, the world does not end, and you will not lose your one and only chance of having a baby. In fact, you stand to gain something else -- the possibilities that come with having more time and energy for other things.
© Tracy Morris
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