Wonders Never Cease

February 1998

Will wonders never cease? We have conceived again.

Upon finding out, I immediately quit my new retail job. It was hard on my body, standing for hours on end, and I should've known the signs before I did. For the past few weeks there, I was incredibly fatigued and overly emotional. I've been able to tell before when I was pregnant, before I could even take a home pregnancy test. This time, though, I just didn't want to trust my instincts, I guess. Too afraid that if I believed too strongly in my own hopes that they would be dashed just as soon.

But here we are again, pregnant. Once again, the discussions about who to tell and when, and again, we opt to let the family in on it fairly early. We just can't seem to wait that entire first trimester like some books and magazines recommend -- I mean, c'mon, everyone knows we're trying. The only way we could keep it from them for three months would be to avoid contact with them entirely!

So, ahhhh... I quit another back-breaking job and take to my couch as often as possible. My hCG's are looking good. The clomiphene had helped me produce three lovely little eggs, so while they say that my odds of multiples are pretty low with this drug, there's always hope! That's another hope that we feel too jaded to believe, but the thoughts come breaking through occasionally.

So now, we wait until our first ultrasound when we will hopefully see a little heart fluttering. We try not to put much stock into this event, which is a little like telling a thoroughbred horse to stand by while the other horses plow through the starting gate. Surely this time is ours...