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I've always liked the first month of the year. Not only can it feel like a new beginning, but it's also the month in which I was born. While I and my family have never been big celebrators of birthdays, I like the way another year passing on the calendar parallels nicely with another year passing for myself.
This year, I am particularly pleased with the events of my life. I am now free of the everyday burden of working for someone else, focusing on doing things that I can enjoy while earning a living. I feel confident in my ability to be my own boss, something I had never considered before a couple of months ago. I find that I have the discipline required to create my own schedule, and accomplishing my goals is easy with my new-found energy and time.
My wedding is coming along, most of the decisions having been made. My husband-to-be and I are on the downhill run of the planning and organizing, and it looks like an event that I will be proud of. Paying for it, like most weddings, will be tough, but we're working on it. We're both clear that like many such celebratory events, weddings are for the family. We've been together now for nearly 4 years, and so know each other well. The wedding has been an interesting project, prompting lots of discussion about family similarities and differences.
My body is feeling toned and flexible, thanks to the addition of yoga to my workout. I feel healthier and stronger than I have ever. The change in my work lifestyle has created such an aura of relaxation, energy, and peace around me that people I know are constantly commenting on it. I feel lucky, lucky, lucky to be living the life that I am.
There is but one thing missing. Years ago, I had a casual discussion with a previous male companion about the possibility of his assisting me to parenthood, should I find myself unconnected to anyone else at the age of 35 years. As I approach my 35th birthday, I find that I think of this discussion often. Not that I feel the slightest compulsion to turn to that person now; in fact, I think of the talk we had with a relieved grin. Although my fiancé and I have been pursuing pregnancy for nearly seven months now, I feel that perhaps the timing has been as it has for a reason.
In fact, feeling the way that I do every day now, not working at an exhausting, unpleasant job for most of my waking hours, I believe that my chances for conception absolutely must have increased. How could they not? My body, my mind, everything just feels so very right. To add to the rest of what I am thankful for this year, I just might get my wish to be a mother before the end of my 35th year...
© Tracy Morris
