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I am saddened to learn that infertility has brought an end to a friend's marriage. Granted, as with all marital breakups, there surely were issues that ran deeper than just the fact that they were unable to conceive, but knowing her story, it indeed appears that their journey to build a family led to its demise.
Having only known my husband for seven years and been married for two, it's hard for me to conceive what my friend must be experiencing: she married her high school sweetheart 17 years ago. They went through college, had fun, and became financially stable before trying to have a baby, only to experience two early miscarriages in a row. We met online, and our stories of miscarriage were, at that time, so similar that we immediately struck up a friendship, bound by shared grief.
Now, two years after meeting online and once in person just last Fall, my friend has learned that her husband has sought female companionship elsewhere. His timing was impeccable -- she discovered his dalliance just as they were getting ready to navigate the scary waters of IVF treatment for the first time.
She has yet to decide exactly what to do next, and I wish I could help. However, the gut-wrenching decision process that she must now undertake is beyond my comprehension. In her early 30's, after living with the same man for all of her adult life, she must decide whether or not to forgive him and continue trying to have a child, or to move on and out of the marriage, a decision that I know she feels may mean the end of any baby dreams. I ache for her.
My friend's situation shakes up my world. I have been very lucky in that my husband wants this as much as I do, and he's shown virtually no signs of cratering thus far. I have to wonder, though, how long that will last, as we discuss our own tenuous situation.
If I had a shred left of thinking the world is supposed to fair, it is gone.
© Tracy Morris
