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An overview of resources for men trying to conceive:
The biggest hurdle for men hoping to become parents is finding a surrogate mother. Surrogates may provide either traditional services, which includes the use of their own eggs, or gestational services only, which involves only the use of their uterus while a third party's eggs are used.
Necessary for conception, donor eggs also may be obtained either through a known female or via an anonymous situation, such as a clearinghouse or clinic. However, unlike donor sperm, the retrieval of usable eggs involves fertility drugs and surgical procedures, neither of which should be agreed upon without a lot of information-sharing beforehand.
A relatively new third party option which may be used in either case is that of embryo adoption, in which an embryo created by another couple is donated and used to impregnate another female, either surrogate or the parent-to-be. In this case, IVF is necessary. Resulting children will have none of the genetic material of either individual in a parenting couple, which may be either desired or not, depending on the couple's issues.
Whether using donor sperm or egg, you will be using another human's gametes and, therefore, genetic history. As a result, a number of emotional/relational factors should be reviewed between partners, for example:
In addition to the psychosocial issues involved, any third party reproduction efforts come with situation-specific legal issues to be addressed, including the naming of resulting children and custody rights.
While much of your information gathering can be done in the same online spaces as anyone else who is using ART, finding emotional support may be a different issue. Gay men and lesbian women may find online communities which are specific to gay/lesbian parenting to be more hospitable than generic infertility communities, in addition to being more knowledgeable of the unique issues.
Becoming a parent is a daunting task for anyone, regardless of their sexuality and orientation. As is usually the case for any other life challenge, finding support from sources outside of the partner relationship may be crucial to the health of your growing family.
© Tracy Morris
