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The issues of parenting usually arrive with a bang upon the birth or adoptive placement of a child. While it may be said that folks going through infertility have had more time to consider parenting theories and techniques, clear out their own family of origin cobwebs, and be generally more prepared, in fact, nothing is more trial-by-fire than parenting.
How is that different from every other parent in the world? Infertile parents tend to press a higher standard of performance on themselves. When you feel as though after conception difficulties you've been granted a special grace through the simple act of conceiving and having a child, or of achieving a successful adoption, it's easy to feel very deeply that your mission as a parent is tantamount to being a superhero. You have mountains to move and loved ones to protect.
In addition to feeling overwhelmed by self-expectations, infertile parents may also feel:
In addition, parents who conceived their children through high-tech assisted reproductive techniques, or through the use of donor gametes or surrogacy, have the greater issues of sharing with others the context of their reproduction. In short, what do we tell family, friends, and the children about where they came from? Will our discomfort with these discussions strongly impact our relationships with our children?
As children grow and develop, so do parents in their roles. Each developmental stage for a child brings new parenting skills to be learned. For infertile parents, there can be subtle, yet profound, differences in how they approach, manage, and resolve these various stages as compared to people who conceived easily.
We hope to provide a place of sharing, learning, fun and community to those who are raising the future, even while sometimes feeling the indelible imprint of infertility.
© Tracy Morris
