Pregnancy After Infertility

You're in your first trimester, and you're nauseous 24/7. You dare not complain to a soul, however, for fear that you'll hear:

I told you so!
And you wanted to be pregnant sooo badly...
Can you believe you went through all of that to feel like this?

Or perhaps you're in your last trimester, and the only shoes that will go on your swollen feet are shower sandals, while your sciatica gives you such pain that the slightest movement brings tears to your eyes. After seven or more months, you've probably learned by now that not only do folks tire of hearing pregnant women complain, any kvetching on your part will probably be heard with even less understanding. After all, didn't you say that you'd never complain if you could only conceive?

In addition to the sundry physical complaints of pregnancy, there are the normal and usual social/emotional concerns:

Will I be a patient mother?
Should I return to work?
Should we name the baby after a relative?

For someone who's experienced difficulty in conceiving or maintaining a pregnancy, those typical fears are compounded by:

Fears of losing the pregnancy
Fear about birth defects or an unhealthy child
Coping with a hig-risk pregnancy
Getting used to being a "regular" OB patient

Pregnancy tends to bring out the more congenial, chatty nature of many women (and men), particularly first pregnancies. There are so many exciting plans and decisions to be made, so many things to learn. However, for those who arrived at pregnancy after a long run of unsuccessful attempts, or who have experienced pregnancy loss in the past, some of the typical chat encountered may seem trivial or even callous. A woman pregnant after infertility may have a hard time sharing in the "gripe sessions" of her pregnant friends, and may feel out of place or unconnected to those with whom she seeks companionship.

We hope to provide a place of friendship, support, understanding, and information to those whose bodies are working on their own miracles.