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Tracy: Knowing that men tend to avoid counseling in general, how important is it to be able to work with the male partner of a couple experiencing fertility challenges?
Coach: It's so great if both partners in a couple relationship are involved in getting help to deal with the challenges of treatment and continued relationship through the treatment - really, that's the most important part. Couples have a great opportunity to strengthen their relationship during infertility treatment. They can become better, more caring partners. They can each learn to understand the other's pain, wishes, disappointments and hopes better than ever before.
Some of the difficulties of infertility treatment cause a couple to learn better communication skills. And the very nature of trying to have a baby together is so intimate that the deepest connection can be stretched to its limit - or grow immensely through the infertility.
So it's a gift to the relationship if both people are willing to get help. One of my recent infertility groups included both members of the couple, and it helped the men in the group a lot to find that some of the difficulties they were having alone actually were common to most of the men in the group.
Of course, it is wonderful if either partner calls me. The woman is typically more physically involved either with medication or procedures. She is hormonally stressed as well as dealing with grief every time her period starts, or ovulation doesn't happen, or she miscarries.
I do work more often with women than with men - since the struggle is so direct for the woman and since women do typically call for help more easily."
© Tracy Morris
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