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Certainly most new parents worry about the same things. The difference may be in my inner sense that if something bad is going to result from any of the above little nuisances, it is going to happen to us.
As one of the women interviewed by author Glazer put it, infertility teaches
"...a difficult lesson: Things go wrong. Before infertility, I believed in statistics, in the law of averages, in the sense that 'it will probably be all right.' I no longer feel that way. I now know that bad things really do happen to good people and I feel an urge to try to protect against them."
So, are we supposed to just give in to this paranoia and subjugate our children to a life of overprotection?
No, Glazer says, but it's important to first acknowledge that those emotions and thoughts exist, and that you are justified in having them. Step one is to believe that you are okay. After getting over that hump (and believe me, it can be a big one), it's important to gather information that will boost your more confident, positive thoughts. Read statistics which bear out your suspicions that, indeed, everything will be all right. Talk with other parents about their own fears, and find out what they do to combat them.
In the end, naturally, I hope the other shoe never falls. Perhaps I will eventually come to lose this feeling that bad things are creeping over the horizon. Or maybe it's a good thing to be prepared -- in the event something bad does happen, I'll respond, adjust, adapt better than others.
For now, I know that I consciously look forward to the day when my son is an adult and I can share with him these emotions within which he was raised. That piece of his history could help him assemble the puzzle of young adulthood.
Cross your fingers that we get there!
© Tracy Morris
