An Open Adoption Will Alter Your Dream of Parenting
With the growing trend toward and normalcy of "open adoptions" (adoption placements that involve varying degrees of adoptive-birth parent contacts), many infertile individuals express concern over just what that means for the adopting family. Will the birthparents be in constant contact? Must the child be taught that he or she has two mothers?
While many individuals and organizations tout the benefits of adoptions that are open at varying levels (from partial openness to completely open), still others say that open adoptions can be fraught with problems that we still do not fully understand yet.
How do you decide? Here are some of the pros and cons for adoptive parents, as listed by specialists in the area:
Pros
- Adoptive families and children have more complete knowledge of child's genetic history and any related medical issues
- Child will benefit richly from knowing his/her birthparents, through enhanced positive self-image
- Possibly less fear about stability of final placement (see "Birthmother May Change Her Mind" above), resulting in an earlier established sense of permanence
- Reportedly fewer future behavior problems on the part of the child, and less preoccupation with identity and information issues, particularly for adolescents
- Adoptive parents may feel closer to the birth experience
Cons
- Depending on how they search for a birthmother and child, adoptive families may be open to false leads and fraudulent practices
- Children may be aware of any disturbing facts about their birthparents or their birth situation
- Adoptive parents may feel threatened by participation by birthparents
- Possibility of feeling locked into continuing relationship with birthparents who are inadequately handling the separation process
- Possible conflict over parenting responsibilities, particularly in cases of very young birthparents
- Fears about weakening the growing bonds between adoptive family and adopted children, particularly in case of children older than infant
Obviously, there is much exploration of the issues that needs to take place before a family can decide what options are best for them. It is important to research and arrive at some base decisions before heading off in any direction, but being flexible and open to change is important, too.
© Tracy Morris
